Synopsis
After about seventeen minutes of set-up including a four-minute battle with the annoying mouse cursor arrow, we got the episode rolling. Paul joined us and had a lot of interesting commentary.
“It’s almost like the Survivor of the dating world,” Paul
said, and talked about how it was a game that the guys were trying to win rather than actually trying to fall in love,
which I thought was accurate insta-analysis.
"The farmer guy looks like a young Jeremy Piven," Andrea said.
“Like a chunkier Jeremy Piven.”
Nick V met Andi on a pier in Santa Barbara and they rode
bikes. Andrea commented on their helmets. Meanwhile, Marcus and Andrew the Douche talked shit behind
his back. Then Andi and V went hiking and wore hoodies. Bag played “QUANT”
and “TOKAY” at the same time in Words With Friends so I guess he thought the
date was boring like I did.
V talked about how romance to him was being able to find
someone else and choosing not to. Andrea and Bag joked about how they could
both find someone else. Andi gave V the date rose and they kissed a bunch of
times.
Most of the guys went on the group date, including a cocky Marcus, who was hoping he wouldn't go so he could go on a one-on-one instead. It was a singing date with Boyz II Men, who are more like Men II Geezers at this point. Bradley the Opera Singer was naturally fired up but took it a little too far with the opera inflections. “What is he supposed to do, not sing well?” Bag asked.
They sang a song at a Men II Geezers concert. Cody, Ron, and Brian were terrible, but not as bad as
Marcus, whose “voice sounds like a chicken being strangled,” according to Eric
the Dead Explorer. “Oh my god. This is just so bad,” said the Fish. “That guy (Ron) is
really [expletive] bad,” the Fish pointed out. A little girl in the crowd covered her ears.
Marcus called it an “adrelanine” rush. Then he forgot the lyrics for his part. Talk about a C'mon Man. Tasos was good. I always like Tasos and Bag always hates on his double earrings. Andi said it was one of the best days of her life, which was weird because I thought she was a happy person.
Marcus called it an “adrelanine” rush. Then he forgot the lyrics for his part. Talk about a C'mon Man. Tasos was good. I always like Tasos and Bag always hates on his double earrings. Andi said it was one of the best days of her life, which was weird because I thought she was a happy person.
Andi played a funny joke on Cody where she pretended guys
had said that he had a girlfriend, then laughed like it was candid camera. Cody
took it well.
Marcus awkwardly asked Andi to kiss him and she did. “This
guy seems like a douche,” Fish said, summarizing Marcus’s episode.
Josh M. made out with Andi too. “I don’t like this guy at
all,” Fish said. “Man, I do not like this guy,” he added. Then Josh M. got the
date rose.
Andrea said something nice about the farmer guy and that she might choose him. “What if he’s a Monsanto farmer?” Bag asked. “Then I’d convert him to non-GMO,” Andrea replied.
JJ went on a one-on-one date. Bag, Andrea and Paul had a conversation about his
nipples. He and Andi got made up to look like old people. JJ looked ridiculous. Andi somehow still looked pretty. They went to a park and talked to strangers. “I don’t think that kid’s buying it,” Bag said of one youngster they were conversating. Probably
because an enormous HDTV camera was pointed at them from across the lake.
Overall it was offensive and way less funny than Uncle Drew.
JJ was a good choice for the date but that’s all. “This guy has no shot,” Fish said. “Filler date,” Bag said, summarizing it best. “I would not have wanted that to be my first date with you,” Andrea noted.
JJ was a good choice for the date but that’s all. “This guy has no shot,” Fish said. “Filler date,” Bag said, summarizing it best. “I would not have wanted that to be my first date with you,” Andrea noted.
Beverage Sales Ron had a friend die on him so he had to leave the show. No negative points. Tough beat for DouBri.
JJ made it clear to Andi he was a nerd. Dylan told the
Farmer a sad story about drugs in his family.
V owned Eric the Dead Explorer and the other chumps by
ordering flowers for Andi that arrived during the rose ceremony. Marcus was cheesy. Andi said he was sweet but didn't seem as excited to be around him as she did V and Josh M. Andrea said that when a girl says “you’re sweet”, that’s
code for “I’m just being nice.”
Andrew got confronted about getting some other girl’s number
and bragging about it. JJ and Josh M. were particularly perturbed.
Andi had Lamp Guy and Opera Guy pack their bags. Andrea gave
words of encouragement to Opera Guy and even offered him a tissue. Bag wondered
if they would have dedicated the show to Lamp Guy if he had died instead of
Eric the Explorer.
Standings
Bri & Doug: 12 points
Chris: 7
Patrick: 3
This will be DouBri’s last week atop the leaderboard. Chris
the Farmer continues his cruise to a 4th place finish. Patrick is
getting minimal screen time. DouBri was unfortunate to lose Ron, though his upside was something like 9 points and a 7th place finish.
Andrea & Zack: 11.5 points
Josh M: 4
Eric: 4.5
Marquel: 3
Another strong episode for Josh M. He's neck-and-neck with V for alpha dog right now. He needs to show that a) he's employed or eminently employable and b) he has potential for humility to win this thing, but he's obviously going deep. Andi lights up like a Christmas tree around the guy.
Kelly & Phil: 9.5 points
Marcus: 4
Brian: 3
Andrew: 2.5
Absolutely disastrous episode for Kelly & Phil. Marcus’s
douchebag disguise came flying off and Brian did nothing of note (no pun intended). Andrew picked up a hostess at a restaurant, but that doesn't reward bonus points in our pool.
Nick S: .5
Things couldn’t have gone much smoother for the MoonBee this episode. V
and JJ grinded out solid one-on-one dates while V’s greatest rival’s stock
bottomed out like the late 2000s Vegas housing market. It won't be long till our rivals each have two players left too, so the points deficit shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Melissa & Tom: 8.5 points
Nick V: 4
JJ: 4
Dregs: 7.5 points
Cody: 3
It appears we pegged the dregs this season. Three are toast and Andi is just keeping Friend Zone Cody around so she can go on a fun silly date with him when she needs a break.
Andie & Eric: 6 points
Dylan: 2.5
Tasos: 3
We didn't learn any new information about this team other than Dylan's brother and sister both used drugs and died. Tasos would be a fun guy to play frisbee golf with but isn't making headway with Andi. This team is still in danger of losing to the Dregs.
1. JJ! This guy is dynomite! Getting a 1 on 1 date saved him and he pulled it off fantastically. He is exceeding expectations.
ReplyDelete2. Why so down on Marcus? There are 2 guys with a more than a 4% chance of winning. He's one of them.
3. Josh is not winning this thing. She wants to resist him but she is attracted. She knows its only skin deep.
4. Only two teams have greater than a 4% chance of winning this thing and I am not one of those teams.
5. You might as well watch episode 4 right now.
6. I thought Marquel would be a good singer, and so did he, but he was awful.
7. I really have to root against Cody so I can beat the dregs. He is a hopeless contestant but she's had no reason to expel him.
8. There's a 4% Nick V will be in contention to win and then withdraw from competition.
Don't underestimate pure attraction on this show. I think Josh M. can do it but he's at a decent chip disadvantage to V right now, though not an insurmountable one.
ReplyDeleteWell done Moon, these posts are so good.
The only chance any of you have in winning this is if our true Douche bag Andrew gets kicked off the show and we post a large negative!
ReplyDeleteJJ is solid and could go a ways.
Josh brings nothing to the table other than great looks which Andi is definitely in to.
It's hard to hold off on posting on the next episode! No spoilers, again, apologies about Ron...
I loved Bradley's singing voice; he not only has that deep wonderful voice you can only find from a Star Trek villain ( http://nerdculturepodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Benedict-Cumberbatch.jpg ) but he then cried with tears dripping down his face.
Baring Andrew destructing our Team, Brian and Marcus go deep, just wait and see!
We have a request. We can't remember how the points work from the draft. Can the point system be posted somewhere? I know it was in previous pool emails, but we aren't on those.
ReplyDeleteAlso, how the hell is this bracket thing working again, and what's that status of that?
I am very impressed about how the picks in the pool singled out the dregs. Looks like everyone knows what they're doing, which makes for some great competition.
We are bummed about Ron. There were definitely a few points left on the table there. He wasn't going to win, but we would have like a few more points along the way. Thanks for the "no negative points" ruling everyone.
Hopefully the drama filled preview for this next episode lives up to the hype.