Synopsis
The crew headed down to New Zealand. Andi got to go on the one-on-one date, which shocked Cassandra even though Andi was the only one left who hadn't gone on a one-on-one. Andi and Juan Pablo went on a boat ride to a lagoon, then got out and made their way through some rocks to another lagoon, this time with warm water and a waterfall. They made out under the waterfall. Andi said she hoped that "tonight we really feel it with each other." And sure enough, a geyser went off that night. It got them wet and made it hard to eat dinner.
Everyone else except for Clare went on a group date where they got in these giant balls and rolled down hills. For some reason there was water in them, so they all wore swimsuits. Melissa thanked ABC for the closeup of JP's torso, but I don't know if she was being sarcastic or legitimately grateful.
Then they went to some sort of Hobbit ghost town. Sharleen turned out to be a huge Tolkien dork, but JP probably couldn't tell the difference between an elf and an orc. JP didn't wait for the rose ceremony to despedir Cassandra, even though it was her birthday. No feliz cumpleanos.
Forty years from now JP will be telling one of these women's grandsons about how he got to roll down the green hills of New Zealand in giant balls and made out with five hot chicks, all in the same day. On TV.
JP and Clare went to a chilly beach for their one-on-one date and talked. Then they hung out on the couch for a while like normal people, except there was a television crew hanging out there too and filming everything they did.
JP made out with most of the girls again before the rose ceremony, then said hasta manana to Kat.
Standings
Schwartzes: 27 points
Andi: 10
Chelsie: 9
I'm not docking Cassandra even though she was asked to leave before the rose ceremony. The rules say you get -8 for "getting kicked off the show for any reason other than failing to receive a rose at the ceremony." Cassandra didn't make it to the rose ceremony, but she didn't really get "kicked off" either. It would be against the venerable spirit and tradition of this pool to saddle Schwartzes with the dreaded Negative Eight in this scenario. Chelsie likely won't be receiving any more roses either. Andi should be all that's left of this team in a week.
MoonBee: 23.5 points
Clare: 14
Sharleen: 9
One of the most annoying things a partner can do is insist on an apology when none is necessary. JP didn't need to apologize to Clare for the fallout from the South China Sea incident, he did anyways, and she was still whining about it. I said "Clare is starting to seem really high-maintenance" and Melissa said "starting to??!??" I don't understand what JP sees in Clare. Sure she's pretty, but so is everyone left along with the two girls he just adiosed. She's nagging, selfish and isn't particularly intelligent. She also says "like", like, a ton.
JP just seems to have an irrational physical attraction to her, which is fascinating, because the other player on our team has a similar sort of attraction to him. Sharleen seems to go into each rendesvous with JP hoping to gain perspective on their relationship and just instantly falls into his web of seduction every time. It's clear there's a war waging between her body and mind.
Kelly & Phil: 23.5 points
Nikki: 11
With the Kat's ciao, K&P need Nikki to win it all to have a chance at winning the pool. Nervous Nikki is golden for at least one more episode before things start to really get interesting. K&P don't need to panic - their competitors may also be down to just one contestant after next week's episode.
Sharleen may finally fall on the sword next week, but Clare has scored enough points to clear MoonBee from charity payment. Greenbergs, however, are going to need a Final Four run from Renee to avoid it.
Congratulations to A to Z, who got engaged last week! Andrea was crowned the winner of The Bagchelor after receiving Zack's final rose and accepting his proposal. It is such a joyous occasion for the couple and everyone who knows them that we'll postpone poking fun at this team till next week.
Greenbergs: 3 points
Renee: 8.5
It doesn't matter if Renee is the best choice. JP may have some self-destructive tendencies, fixating on maniacs (Clare) or hard-to-get (Sharleen). Just because Renee is kind, beautiful, intelligent and stable doesn't necessarily mean he's going to choose her.
1. Clare is going to win.
ReplyDelete2. Nikki has no chance of winning, but she could make it as far as the final 2 if JP has reason to eliminate them.
3. Renee has no chance of winning.
4. Andi still has a slight chance of winning. I'm not sure how her bathing suit/make out session would have any more affect on a daughter than the late night Clare swim, but JP is not the logical type.
5. And that's why he will choose Clare.
6. We really can't rag on Zack this week? Can we at least get a picture of his final rose?
7. Sharleen won't be gone next week. JP will talk her out of it, and we'll have a hometown date and get to see her intelligent but awkward family. Then she'll be done.
8. I thought Chelsie was going home for sure, even before Kat gave her sob story.
9. Thank you for not docking 8 points. It does go against the spirit of the rules. Other Bachelors/Bachelorettes have dismissed people in similar fashion, especially as the show progresses.
10. Renee has a 4% chance of winning.
11. Another picture of JP? A-m-a-z-i-n-g.
12. It's unlikely JP will be married to any of these women.
I look forward to this blog every week. Last week I couldn't even post because I was still fuming at Alli's early demise, he kept Cassandra for an extra week just to send her home on her birthday?!?!
ReplyDeleteA minimum of a 3 point deduction is in order for Cassandra's dismissal, there needs to be a penalty for that sort of thing, it's at least the equivalent of not receiving a rose on a 2 on 1 date where one goes home….
Kelly has diagnosed Clare with borderline personality disorder. In her words, "people always love borderlines, at first!" She is an absolute disaster! Will Clare, "win" probably, but ending up with this knob job JP doesn't really seem like a "win."
I found the dogs hiding in the closet after I was done cursing at TV last night when he sent Kat home ahead of Chelsie. I'd love to see a screen time counter for each woman because I think she has set a new record for going the furthest without being on television, seriously who is she?
Renee is one of my favorites, all of the women are drawn to her, she is a single mother and seems the most mature by far. That being said, she's not right for JP, he's basking in the glory of his time on TV with all of his soapy shower scenes and abdominal close ups, he's not settling down any time soon.
I keep waiting for the Sharleen meltdown, although I don't think we will get it. I think Eric called it that it's over after an awkward hometown date.
Lastly, I hate that I'm rooting for a woman neither Kelly nor I can stand, Nikki. Really, we can't stand her and here I am cheering when she makes out with him, which he isn't going to do with all the women every time he sees them because he has a daughter, OMG I puke every time he says that and then makes out immediately with every one, especially Clare. I don't know his infatuation with her, but he likes her.
Zack, congratulations, we are thrilled for you!
Has anyone looked at show spoilers?
ReplyDeleteI have not.
If we get another bleeping photo of Juan Pablo in the Episode 7 blog, Moon and his Valentine will be docked 2 points.
ReplyDeleteI have not looked at any spoilers, every prediction is legit. We are firm on a penalty for Cassandra though...
ReplyDelete