Tom here. That's Melissa's husband and the creator of this blog and pool. I don't fully watch the show anymore cause it's two hours long when it should be half an hour. Also, it's bad. But I do like dropping in from time to time. I've watched several chunks of episodes, a few dates, and several rose ceremonies. Here are my observations on this season:
1. Colton makes most of his choices on aesthetics. You might think a virgin would be less enslaved to his penis than the average Bachelor, but it's the opposite. Look at his date with Cassie. Not a shred of legitimate conversation was shown but Cassie surged to the top of the pack on her physical connection with Colton. Look at him keeping Hannah B. around till (at least) hometowns. Hannah B, who offers nothing beyond her looks and had a painfully awkward one-on-one. And look at the women still left. They're all gorgeous (though it has been a loaded season from an aesthetic perspective).
2. Colton is a bullshit artist. When women express a problem or insecurity, he adeptly dissipates their concern. At the same time, he files that problem away in his brain and eliminates them from serious contention. Look at what he did to Demi.
3. Having said these things, I think Colton is a pretty good Bachelor. He's pretty suave, he's pretty social, he's pretty nice and he's pretty pretty.
4. Tayshia is the best choice, but she won't win. She should be next Bachelorette, but won't because Rachel's season got low ratings.
5. Now that all the women left are perfect-looking, Hannah B. won't be able to compete. I was surprised to see her in Hometown previews.
6. This leaves Cassie, Hannah G, Heather and Caelynn. I saw Heather's date and it was decent but not as confidence-inspiring as Cassie's. I don't think her lack of sexual experience is a factor. I haven't seen a ton of Hannah G or Caelynn but they seem hot and normal which are the (only?) two attributes Colton cares about. So I'd expect it to come down to them and Cassie.
7. This prediction would push Eric Schwartz off the mountaintop. Big Eric has a nice lead thanks to a stacking strategy, but it will be tough to win without a Honeymoon Suiter.
8. This prediction would also be trouble for second-place Julia & Paul. They drafted well as usual, but I see them coming up a bit short here.
9. Leaving Andrea & Zack as the most likely winners in my eyes. Kirpa is a goner, but Cassie & Caelynn may finish 1/2.
10. Melissa doesn't take drafting seriously and is being punished for it. She'll avoid last place if Cassie bests Hannah G.
11. Beyond Tayshia, there's not a suitable Bachelorette candidate here. Perhaps ABC will dig into the archives for someone with some charisma.
12. I don't miss the show. Partly cause I still watch some, partly cause of Melissa's blog, and partly cause it's a bad show.
1. Colton makes most of his choices on aesthetics. You might think a virgin would be less enslaved to his penis than the average Bachelor, but it's the opposite. Look at his date with Cassie. Not a shred of legitimate conversation was shown but Cassie surged to the top of the pack on her physical connection with Colton. Look at him keeping Hannah B. around till (at least) hometowns. Hannah B, who offers nothing beyond her looks and had a painfully awkward one-on-one. And look at the women still left. They're all gorgeous (though it has been a loaded season from an aesthetic perspective).
2. Colton is a bullshit artist. When women express a problem or insecurity, he adeptly dissipates their concern. At the same time, he files that problem away in his brain and eliminates them from serious contention. Look at what he did to Demi.
3. Having said these things, I think Colton is a pretty good Bachelor. He's pretty suave, he's pretty social, he's pretty nice and he's pretty pretty.
4. Tayshia is the best choice, but she won't win. She should be next Bachelorette, but won't because Rachel's season got low ratings.
5. Now that all the women left are perfect-looking, Hannah B. won't be able to compete. I was surprised to see her in Hometown previews.
6. This leaves Cassie, Hannah G, Heather and Caelynn. I saw Heather's date and it was decent but not as confidence-inspiring as Cassie's. I don't think her lack of sexual experience is a factor. I haven't seen a ton of Hannah G or Caelynn but they seem hot and normal which are the (only?) two attributes Colton cares about. So I'd expect it to come down to them and Cassie.
7. This prediction would push Eric Schwartz off the mountaintop. Big Eric has a nice lead thanks to a stacking strategy, but it will be tough to win without a Honeymoon Suiter.
8. This prediction would also be trouble for second-place Julia & Paul. They drafted well as usual, but I see them coming up a bit short here.
9. Leaving Andrea & Zack as the most likely winners in my eyes. Kirpa is a goner, but Cassie & Caelynn may finish 1/2.
10. Melissa doesn't take drafting seriously and is being punished for it. She'll avoid last place if Cassie bests Hannah G.
11. Beyond Tayshia, there's not a suitable Bachelorette candidate here. Perhaps ABC will dig into the archives for someone with some charisma.
12. I don't miss the show. Partly cause I still watch some, partly cause of Melissa's blog, and partly cause it's a bad show.
1. Bullet point post is fantastic, as expected.
ReplyDelete2. I still find the show to be very entertaining. This season is a little better than average.
3. Is the scoring from last episode correct? Weren't there two rose ceremonies? I would think Heather and Hannah would have 3 points - 2 roses and a group date.
4. I'd classify Colton as immature/inexperienced on his responses to the women. He is good hearted but hasn't learned how to relate.
5. I don't think Hannah B is hot.
6. I like Hannah G. She's a potential next bachelorette if she can open up more.
7. Tayshia but she had a weird response at the end of the rose ceremony. I thought it was really weird.
8. You are dogging the show too much.
I think Caelynn for the next Bachelorette, assuming she doesn't win. She's gorgeous and articulate (ie perfect for ratings).
ReplyDeleteTia should be the next Bachelorette. She has a much better personality than any of the girls this season and Colton wasted her time all through Bachelor in Paradise only to ditch her and become the bachelor. Most of the girls this season might do well on Paradise and then could be future Bachelorette contenders, but the edit the show has to keep on them doesn't allow us to actually get to know most of them.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen much depth from Caelynn. I'm not sold on pageant women. Tia is a very viable choice for next Bachelorette and she was on the hilarious movie promo commercial during last week's episode.
ReplyDelete