Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Episode 7

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My version of the Bachelorette starts with an ABC Special Report regarding Trump's Supreme Court nominee. Spoiler alert: he chooses Brett Kavanaugh who is young and will probably live forever.


Despite the 20 minute delay we are still starting from the very beginning. They are in the Bahamas. Seems lovely. Becca says she’s falling in love with a couple of guys and she already is starting to contemplate polygamy (my own presumption).


All the dudes realize this is a “huge week”. Colton gets the first 1 on 1 time even though he’s the “underdog” per the dudes in the house. They hop on a catamaran and Becca oogles his body. Colton almost gets up the nerve to tell Becca that he’s a virgin until they are interrupted by a Rastaman who invites them diving for conch - which of course lead to lots of cock jokes. Also, FYI conch is an aphrodisiac. So you know, if you have extra conch lying around…


Back to the hotel they find a small table in a large room where Colton finds the time and courage to share that he is a virgin (+2pts!). Becca excuses herself which can’t feel good for Colton and stands on the balcony for what seems like an eternity. Eventually she comes back to ask more questions. She’s ‘not judging’ but she looks disappointed. She still gives him the rose guaranteeing him a spot on the hometown dates.


The next date goes to Garrett sending Blake into a tailspin. No pun intended as Becca and Garrett hop onto a sea plane. They go to a beach and make out a lot. Becca tries to get Garrett to go deeper emotionally. She seems satisfied and they’re all giddy and cutesy as he says he’s falling in love with her. Obviously he gets the rose. Then they run into the ocean and make out (etc?) for a while.


Blake gets his coveted 1 on 1 and that brings him to questionable tears (no points awarded). Blake and Becca listen to the new song by the Baha Men on the beach. Fun story: I opened for the Baha Men at Fiddlers Green once. Like, the super dooper opener before anyone is actually there and doesn’t get any promo. But still. The A-Teens also played. Pre-teen HEAVEN!


Anyway, Becca and Blake get straight to the point and talk about feelings on the beach. For some reason Blake is surprised that Becca has feelings for other dudes here. They go to dinner and talk some more. I don’t like that Blake buttons the top button on his shirts. It makes me uncomfortable so it sure as heck can’t be comfortable for him. Blake’s family sounds like a soap opera! His mom had an affair with his basketball coach in their small town?! Next week on This Is Us… Blake drops the first “I am in love with you” earning him a shiny 2 points. Becca’s heart might burst (as a nurse, I feel this is not a good thing). Obviously he gets the date rose. Becca tears up as she talks to the camera about him stating “my heart just recognizes his." She tells the camera that she loves him too and sees a forever with him. She has some very hard decisions to make...


The group date is the leftovers: Leo, Jason and Wills. Leo puts his man bun on top of his head proving me wrong about my statement last week that he looks better with a man bun. They play beach volleyball. Tom would very much enjoy this date but might be too distracted by the volleyball to participate in the date portion of the day. Wills gets the first alone time. His parents are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary! Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Wills! I’m always surprised at the chemistry that Wills and Becca seem to have - he seems so dull...


Jason is next. He lets his positive attitude shine bright.


Leo seems to think that the other guys can offer her a nice house and and a nice lifestyle. He can offer her love. Why can’t she have both a nice lifestyle and love?! They didn’t do a very good job with Leo’s mic - there are lots of distracting ocean noises. Leo confesses that he’s not ready to propose. WHICH IS COMPLETELY REASONABLE. They’ve only known each other for 8 weeks!! Becca gets straight to the point and lets him go (-3pts).


Due to the ABC special report my DVR cut off the last little bit. But the internet saved the day and I watched the little clip on ABC.com to see Wills get sent home. There was also a comical mishap with shadows and the camera crew (not sure if that made it onto mainstream TV). Becca gives Wills a lengthy and thorough explanation and then sends him on his way allowing Jason to bring Becca to his hometown next week.


The Teams look like This:


Julia and Paul are still crushing it with 3 contestants going to hometowns. My hunch is that Jason will get sent home next week, but I have no hard evidence to back that up. I am grateful that Leo was sent home early to cost the Dreg team a few points. I was fearful that I would lose to the Dregs. Blake is looking good right now. Assuming he avoids catastrophie A&Z and Kelly & Phil should rack up some nice points from him.

1 comment:

  1. Once again, wonderful job on the blog.
    Paulia crushing once again, we did not have Jason anywhere near top 4, solid double up on their part!
    We needed Wills to make that hometown, now with just Blake we might waddle into second or third place.
    Notably this year a Dreg did considerably well, meaning ABC is getting better at hiding the deep run contestants. Man bun does not equal love...
    It’s been another solid season, we need Blake to win this to save some face.

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