Episode Three

Synopsis

Maquel, Jacqueline, Lauren B, Tia, Marikh, Bekah, Bibiana and Krystal went to a place called Glob where Arie was wearing a mask. They got inside a ring. Glob turned out to be an acronym for Gorgeous Ladies Of the Bachelor. Two former professional wrestler ladies instructed them on wrestling maneuvers. They were mean. They made Tia and Bibiana cry. Kenny from last season came on and wrestled Arie. They rigged it to let Arie win. Tia liked it. Then the girls wrestled. In the first match Maquel, who was dressed up as a lunchlady, beat Bekah, who was dressed up as a cat. In the final match Tia, who was dressed up as a Southern Belle, beat Bibiana, who was dressed up as Bridezilla.

During the night portion of the date, Krystal quickly stole Arie away and made out with him. Arie encouraged her to keep being aggressive. Arie told Tia he thought it was interesting that she cried. “He’s f*ckin* awesome,” Tia said. Bekah got the date rose.

Arie and Lauren S flew a plane to Napa Valley. They drank wine out of oversize glasses, walked, talked, ate salami and cheese, and walked more. At night they drank more wine out of oversize glasses and smiled at each other. Lauren S told a rambling life story about a failed relationship, her family, an eye infection, and music. “I feel like I’m all over the place,” Lauren admitted to Arie. He got rid of her. “I just want you to know that you are amazing,” he said. “Can I walk you out?” he asked. “Absolutely,” Lauren S said enthusiastically. “It’s a difficult goodbye, but it’s necessary,” Arie said. Lauren S cried. Caroline started crying too because of it. It turned out it was also because she was annoyed at Krystal.

Ashley, Becca, Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea, Annaliese, Arie and a lot of dogs went to a park. There was another weird grainy Annaliese memory video. This one was of a little dog baring its teeth at her. They did a dog show. Chelsea couldn’t get her dogs to do much. A girl wandered onto the stage. At night they had some boring conversations while I checked DFS which was ruined by Jordan Bell and Joe Ingles and Melissa scrolled through an app on her phone. Arie made out with several women, but not Annaliese. Chelsea got the date rose.

Bibiana set up a bed and telescope at the mansion to talk to Ari. He used it to talk to other girls and make out with them. Annaliese tried to get him to kiss her but he wouldn’t so she cried. Jenna drunkenly made out with Arie. Annaliese asked Arie if he liked her and he got rid of her. “I know that you’re an amazing person,” Arie said and walked her out. At the Rose Ceremony, Arie got rid of Bibiana, who cursed and cried. “I am broken,” Bibiana surmised.

Standings

Andie & Eric - 30 points
1. Tia - 5
2. Seinne - 4
3. Jacqueline - 3
4. Annaliese - 3
5. Maquel - 4
6. Jenna - 4
7. Marikh - 4
+3 last team standing bonus

A&E narrowly won the last team standing bonus, as Lauren S's meltdown preceded Annaliese's. With Tia, Seinne and Jacqueline all likely ticketed for impending one-on-ones, the defending champs should be back in the mix.

Bri & Doug - 27 points
1. Caroline - 5
2. Becca - 5
3. Brittany - 4
4. Jenny - 2
5. Bibiana - 3
6. Brittany - 4
7. Marikh - 4
Brittany didn't get much screen time and could be a goner soon. That would leave B&D with effectively two players, so they could be facing an uphill battle.

Andrea & Zack - 26 points
1. Bekah - 5
2. Caroline - 5
3. Chelsea - 5
4. Lauren B - 3
5. Jenny - 2
6. Bibiana - 3
7. Ashley - 3
I made fun of this team last week, and now they must be chuckling down at us. Bekah & Caroline could both be contenders, and Chelsea may return value in the third round.

Kelly & Phil - 25 points
1. Chelsea - 5
2. Seinne - 4
3. Becca - 5
4. Kendall - 3
5. Maquel - 4
6. Lauren G - 1
7. Ashley - 3
Episode three was an encouraging one for K&P. Chelsea is now getting less of a villain treatment than Krystal while accumulating points. Their other players survived, and they'll continue to collect points.

Julia & Paul - 24 points
1. Krystal - 5
2. Bekah - 5
3. Jacqueline - 3
4. Lauren S - 0
5. Lauren B - 3
6. Jenna - 4
7. Marikh - 4
Julia & Paul have to be concerned about Krystal, but perhaps Jacqueline will make a deep run to keep the Denverites competitive.

Melissa & Tom - 21 points
1. Krystal - 5
2. Tia - 5
3. Annaliese - 3
4. Lauren S - 0
5. Kendall - 3
6. Lauren G - 1
7. Marikh - 4
Dire episode for us, as we had both of the meltdown girls. We'll need a champ and at least one more deep run to have any chance.